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<title>(More Than Just) Travel Partners by joz_stankovich (joz_rose)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960692">(More Than Just) Travel Partners</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joz_rose/pseuds/joz_stankovich'>joz_stankovich (joz_rose)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Flirting, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Smut, Sort Of, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:54:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joz_rose/pseuds/joz_stankovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you began traveling with Jaskier you never imagined you would come to care for him as much as you did, which was a problem, since you were still running from your past.</p><p> </p><p>I do not consent to my works being shared outside of AO3 on any third party apps.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaskier | Dandelion/Original Female Character(s), Jaskier | Dandelion/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay so, I promise this is a reader insert.  There is a plot relevant reason why the reader is introduced with a name, you just have to find out why.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The tavern was almost stifling with the press of so many bodies; nearly every table full, though you supposed you couldn’t blame them for piling in on a night like this.  The townsfolk, mostly miners from up in the mountain were drowning their cares in a mug of ale or mulled wine; taking the chill off and unwinding after a long day.  </p><p>Most of them clapped or stomped their feet in time with the music of your fiddle, and some even raised their voices drunkenly to join with yours, if they knew the words.  Nothing could bring you greater joy than a room full of people brought together in song, forgetting their troubles, if only for a while.</p><p>Scanning the room as you played, your fingers danced nimbly over the taut strings as your bow pulled each sweet note of the lively reel to life, mixing with the chorus of raucous voices that filled the tavern to the rafters.  A stranger in the crowd caught your eye and something about him held your gaze.  Perhaps it was his flash of blue eyes or his dazed grin, so intent as he leaned forward in his seat to watch you.  Whatever the case you couldn’t seem to look away, at that moment playing only for him amongst the sea of people.  </p><p>It wasn’t until after the song ended that you noticed the neck of a lute poking over his shoulder as he sipped his ale and your curiosity piqued further; making up your mind to speak with him after your set.</p><p>Several songs later you bowed graciously to the cheering audience before stepping down from the small raised stage to return your fiddle to its case amidst a few scattered calls for another song.  Soon however, the crowd quieted, returning to their ale and conversations when it became apparent that their requests would not be fulfilled.</p><p>Approaching the counter you caught the barkeep’s eye and he nodded, slipping you a pouch of coin for your songs and pouring you a pint before catching a serving maid by the arm and whispering in her ear.  Soon the girl returned from the kitchen, a steaming bowl of stew in hand and you took it with a smile, pressing a ducat into her palm before weaving through the packed tables til you found the one you were searching for.</p><p>The blue eyed man from earlier who had watched your performance with such fascination now sat, idly tracing the rim of his half empty tankard, pretending he hadn’t just been sneaking glances your way as you stood at the bar.</p><p>“May I sit?” you asked, biting back a grin as he jumped at your sudden presence.</p><p>“I - yes, please!  Please, sit,” he exclaimed haltingly, half rising before grimacing briefly at his own eagerness and schooling his expression.  As you sat across from him you could practically feel him studying you with interest and you quickly brought your drink to your lips, hoping to hide the telltale heat you could feel rising to your face.</p><p>“That was quite the performance,” he remarked as you set your mug back on the table and picked up your spoon.  “I haven’t heard such captivating music in a long while.  Well, I mean, other than my own,” he added offhandedly, to which you couldn’t help but snort softly.</p><p>“Look, what I’m trying to say is that I enjoyed it thoroughly.”</p><p>“I could tell,” you replied with a calculated arch of your brow, your eyes flicking up to his face and enjoying the shift in his expression.  “No one else stared quite as much as you did.”</p><p>Clearing his throat, the man’s cheeky grin returned momentarily.  “Yes well, I believe you were staring just as much,” he pointed out smugly.</p><p>Unable to dispute his words you ducked your head to take a bite of your supper.</p><p>“Where did you learn how to play like that?” He asked suddenly, taking you by surprise.</p><p>Swallowing slowly, you shrugged.  “Just here and there.”  The answer, though vague, was true enough.  You just didn’t care to elaborate where the here or there were.</p><p>The man stared flatly however, not convinced in the slightest.  “Alright then, be mysterious,” he exclaimed throwing up his hands when you didn’t respond, “but with your level of technical skill I warrant you’ve had professional training somewhere.  I just don’t understand why you’re playing in taverns when you could be entertaining in a king’s court.”</p><p>Taking another bite of the hearty stew you instead changed the subject, not wanting to have to explain your choices to a stranger.</p><p>“I couldn’t help but notice your lute,” you said around a mouthful of meat and potatoes, calling his attention to the instrument slung across the back of the empty chair next to you.  Upon closer inspection you noticed it was rather finely wrought, if not a trifle worn, with beautiful ornate detailing running up the neck and circling the body.</p><p>“Ah yes, you like it?”  The man asked, a fondness to his tone and pride in his gaze as he turned his eyes to the instrument as well.  “It was a gift from Flivandrel, king of the elves… I mean, after one of his people so rudely broke mine.”  He grumbled the last part, frowning at the memory.</p><p>Something about his story tickled your own memory and you chewed your lip as you wracked your brain, trying to remember <em>why</em> that should sound so familiar. </p><p>“I’ve heard that story…” you mused, once more turning your eyes on the man across from you with newfound interest.  Smiling broadly he merely waited, raising his brows expectantly.  </p><p>Your stew all but forgotten in front of you, a snatch of song surfaced in your memory, bringing with it recognition as you began to hum it softly under your breath.  That song had become so popular a while ago you couldn’t believe you had actually forgotten it.  No matter where you’d traveled back then, you couldn’t seem to escape it, the damned thing stuck in your head for weeks.</p><p>“Are you <em>really</em> Jaskier of Lettenhove?”  The question slipped out unbidden and you worried for an instant at insulting him with your disbelief.</p><p>Instead his smile only seemed to broaden.  “The one <em>and</em> only.”</p><p>“The bard known to travel with the witcher, Geralt of Rivia?” you pressed.</p><p>Jaskier’s proud grin slipped, his expression souring.  “Travel<em>ed</em> would be the accurate word,” he grumbled, abruptly taking a long draw from his ale.  “I’m… taking a short break from all the… action,” he explained, as if trying to convince himself.</p><p>“Oh,” you replied, uncertain what else to say, acutely aware you’d struck a sore spot and mentally noting to avoid further mention of said witcher.</p><p>“Not to worry, it’s all water under the bridge,” Jaskier exclaimed, rather unconvincingly before sighing dramatically.  As soon as his eyes returned to yours, however, his alluring grin returned.  </p><p>“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage.  You know who <em>I</em> am, but I am tragically bereft of the pleasure of knowing <em>your</em> name.”</p><p>Not ready for the sudden burst of charm you mentally cursed at the way your face heated readily.  It’d been quite a while since anyone had had such an effect on you, though you realized you didn’t find it <em>entirely</em> unpleasant.</p><p>“Aevryn,” you answered shortly, your lips almost twitching to a grin.  </p><p>The false name rolled off your tongue easily now and though you doubted Jaskier had any ties to the man you’d been running from for the past two years it didn’t hurt to err on the side of caution.</p><p>“Aevryn,” he repeated, as if savouring the name —you wondered briefly what your <em>real</em> name would sound like on his lips and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.</p><p>“Of course your name would be as beautiful as you are,” Jaskier continued smoothly, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips, his blue eyes holding yours.</p><p>The compliment twisted something deep inside and you fought to keep your smile from slipping as his lips brushed your knuckles.  A shaky laugh trembled from your lungs.  “Flatterer.”</p><p>Jaskier merely shrugged.  “Guilty as charged.”</p><p>“So,” you begin as he released your hand, pausing to gulp down some ale to calm your nerves.  “Where are you headed from here?  No doubt to chase down more glory and encapsulate it in song.”</p><p>Jaskier chuckled, his eyes darting down to his hands for a moment as he fidgeted with the thick signet ring on his finger.  “Actually I was about to ask <em>you</em> the same question.”  Clearing his throat his gaze swung to his lute.  “As I was listening to you perform, well I, I couldn’t help but imagine how much fun it would be to play with you.”</p><p>Brows climbing at his choice of words the deep flush that suffused your face was entirely impossible to banish as your thoughts leapt unbidden to what <em>else</em> his minstrel fingers could play and a horrified look crossed Jaskier’s visage at your reaction.</p><p>“Ohh<em>hhfuckthatcameoutwrong</em>,” he hastily exclaimed, tugging at the collar of his doublet.  “I meant as in play our instruments and-and sing together,” he revised, swallowing thickly.</p><p>You gaped at him a moment longer before an amused laugh burst from your lips and you nearly doubled over in your chair, tears of mirth pricking your eyes.  </p><p>“Oh is <em>that</em> what you <em>meant</em>?” you couldn’t help but tease, gasping between peals of laughter.  A few of the remaining patrons glanced your way, but you were past caring, your amusement only growing the redder Jaskier’s face became.</p><p>Clearing his throat rather awkwardly and glaring over his shoulder at those as were still staring, his head whipped back around to you as the last of your laughter died down.</p><p>“Now that we’ve all had a good laugh,” he grumbled, “I truly meant it when I said I’ve not encountered someone as talented as you in a long while.  And…” he hesitated a moment longer, his piercing blue eyes studying you.  “As it so happens, I happen to be sans a traveling partner recently.”  Eyeing you hopefully Jaskier arched a brow.  “So… what do you say?”</p><p>Biting your lip, you considered what he was getting at.  You’d been traveling alone for so long now, always glancing over your shoulder, always on the lookout… it was getting tiresome, and to be completely honest, it was lonely.  You’d almost forgotten how nice it was to have some company, especially company as charming and entertaining as Jaskier.  You hadn’t laughed that hard in, well, you couldn’t remember when.</p><p>He made you feel…</p><p>“What would you get out of this arrangement?” you ask, quick to sidestep <em>that</em> line of thought.  True, the bard wasn’t as infamous as his witcher friend, but he was known, to put it nicely, to be a bit of a player —although what bard <em>wasn’t</em>, you thought.</p><p>…Be that as it may, that was a game you wanted nothing to do with.</p><p>“What do I get?” he asked, a touch scandalized.  “Why, the pleasure of your lovely company, of course.  And-<em>and</em>!” he exclaimed, holding up a finger, “ the opportunity to perform with someone of your caliber.  I mean, the whole crowd was singing along, completely under your spell, Aevryn.  Just imagine what we could do together.”</p><p>The earnestly in Jaskier’s voice and the light in his eyes swayed you, nearly leaving you speechless.</p><p>“Am I really that good?” You scoffed.</p><p>“Oh you <em>are</em>, love.  You <em>are</em>.”</p><p>Stunned, you took a deep breath.  “Alright,” you answered simply.  “Looks like you’ve got yourself a new traveling partner, Jaskier.  In the morning we set out.”</p><p>If his words alone hadn’t stolen your breath, the grin he flashed then certainly did the trick.</p><p>“Oh lovely!  <em>Wonderful</em>!” he announced excitedly, following suit as you stood and quickly grabbed his lute before trailing along behind you as you climbed the stairs to your room.  “You, um, you have a horse, don’t you?” he asked as you stopped in front of your door.</p><p>“…Yes,” you answered slowly, frowning slightly, wondering what he was getting at.</p><p>“Oh good,” he sighed, “I was getting really tired of walking everywhere on foot.”</p><p>Rolling your eyes you unlocked your door, pushing it open slowly.  Turning to face him, you patted his cheek lightly.  “Good night Jaskier.  I’ll see you in the morning.”</p><p>Leaning forward as you stepped backward into your room, your hand slipping from his face, his lips parted as if to say something more, but whatever it was would have to wait.  You smiled at him once more before shutting the door softly in his face, not ready to open <em>that</em> can of worms.</p><p>“Yes, uh, good-goodnight then.”  You heard him call through the door before his footsteps faded down the hall, leaving you with much to think about.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaskier shifted behind you on Swift; the horse tossing its head irritably at the movement, and you couldn’t help but echo the sentiment.</p><p>Nearly a week had elapsed since you had begun traveling together and you were still hyper aware of just how close Jaskier’s body was every time you rode Swift together; your back pressed against his chest, his thighs touching yours, and his arms brushing your sides as he tightened his hold on your waist to keep from falling.</p><p>If he felt uncomfortable at all, he didn’t show it.  On the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying himself just fine, humming cheerfully under his breath or telling stories to fill the silence.  Or maybe he just liked the sound of his own voice.</p><p>Though it wasn’t as if you didn’t enjoy it.</p><p>Groaning under your breath, you tightened your grip on Swift’s reins.  Loath to admit it, what frustrated you most about Jaskier was that he was either intentionally flirting with you, constantly trying to impress and charm you, or he was completely endearing unintentionally… and both were working.</p><p>This wouldn’t be a bad thing if you weren’t purposefully trying to avoid getting entangled in such feelings.</p><p>But you were and it was.</p><p>Breaking the silence, Jaskier’s voice so close to your ear nearly made you jump in the saddle, tensing against him.  “Looks like we’re nearing town,” he pointed out, peering over your shoulder through the fading light.  Sure enough the tops of several thatched roofs and stone buildings could be seen amongst the thicket of trees up ahead.</p><p>“Oh I am so ready for some warm food, a hot bath, and a soft bed tonight,” he groaned, stretching behind you.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love sleeping out under the stars as much as the next bard, but when you do it every night for a week, it gets a little old.”</p><p>“Speak for yourself city-boy,” you teased, glancing at him over your shoulder.</p><p>“Oh please, now you’re just trying to be contrary.  You can’t honestly tell me you’d rather sleep on the cold hard ground than a soft.  Warm.  Bed.”  The way he drew out the last words, nearly purring them into your ear had your skin tingling and you were thankful he couldn’t see your face.</p><p>“Maybe I would,” you answered coyly.  </p><p>Jaskier snorted, shaking his head.  “You enjoy being difficult, don’t you?”</p><p>“Mostly I just enjoy how indignant it makes you,” you admitted with a shrug.</p><p>“Aha!  So the truth comes out,” he exclaimed melodramatically.  “You wound me, love.”</p><p>“Oh please,” you laughed swaying in the saddle.  “You know you like it.”</p><p>Even with your back to him you knew he was making that face, that ‘you got me there’ face, before clearing his throat.</p><p>——</p><p>Soon you were standing next to Jaskier before the crowded common room of the inn, fiddle in hand as he tuned his lute.  “You ready?” he asked and you nodded, filled with the excitement you always felt before playing.</p><p>“Okay, let’s do this.”  Glancing over at you, Jaskier threw you a grin and a wink before plucking the first few notes of the Fishmonger’s Daughter.  Grinning back you brought your fiddle to your chin and the bow to the strings.  </p><p>This crowd was much rowdier than the last tavern’s and their enthusiasm quickly filled you, spilling over, until you were laughing joyfully as you played, spinning and kicking your skirts as you danced.  Your voice mixed with Jaskier’s as if you been playing music with him all your life and more than once you caught him beaming at you as he strummed his lute, and your face would heat before turning away to glance out into the crowd; never long before your eyes would seek him out once more.</p><p>Absolutely exhausted, your fingers numb from playing and your voice hoarse from singing so loudly, the evening came to a close, at least until another small band of musicians jumped up to take your’s and Jaskier’s places.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s get something to eat.  I’m starving!”  Jaskier nearly had to yell to be heard over the din before clutching your arm and pulling you close to keep from being separated as you headed toward the bar.  </p><p>With food and wine in front of you, a pouch of coins in your pocket, and the promise of a hot bath after dinner, your bluff from earlier was officially called.  </p><p>“That was amazing,” you gushed, laughing as Jaskier poured you a second glass of wine, the first having been downed in moments.</p><p>“Right?” he agreed, grinning ear to ear.  “I told you we’d be amazing together, did I not?”</p><p>“That you did,” you ceded, raising your glass.  “To our continued partnership.”</p><p>“I’ll drink to that,” Jaskier agreed; your glasses meeting with a sharp clink.</p><p>Before you knew it the bottle was empty and Jaskier was pulling you to your feet to dance.  Spinning you in his arms your laughter mixed with his until your head swam dangerously, but you didn’t want him to stop.  You never wanted to stop.  Catching you before you nearly fell over your own feet Jaskier pulled you against his chest, his arms circling your waist to steady you and the room seemed to stand still.</p><p>“Jask…?” you began, gaping up at him, your eyes meeting and slipping to his lips, but before you could finish your question, a man pushing through the other dancers caught your attention and you barely had time to react before he grasped Jaskier roughly by the collar, jerking him away from you and spinning him around.</p><p>“You’ve a lot of nerve showing your face here bard,” the man spat, shaking Jaskier by the lapels of his open doublet.</p><p>“I think you have me mistaken for someone else–” he began, but the man didn’t let him finish.  </p><p>“Oh no, I’d recognize that smarmy face o’ yours anywhere, you asshole.  You have a lot to answer for,” the man growled, flicking open a knife and holding it in Jaskier’s face.</p><p>“H-hold on now!  Can’t we talk this out?”  Jaskier’s eyes widened at the sight of the sharp steel glinting in the firelight so close to his nose; his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly.  The crowd surged backward as they realized what was happening, chaos erupting around you, and you had no doubt the town guards were being called for.</p><p>“There’ll be no talking your way out of this one, bard,” the man hissed threateningly.</p><p>Reacting before thinking you reached for one of your hidden daggers, tucked up your sleeve and threw it, whipping your hand toward the man.  The dagger buried itself in his chest and he stumbled back in confusion, his eyes flashing down to the dagger’s hilt before slowly following its path back up to you.</p><p>Taking advantage of his stunned reaction you grabbed Jaskier out of his grip and ran, pulling him behind you.  Just as you thought you were in the clear, Jaskier’s hand slipped from yours and you turned abruptly to see him yanked back; his attacker’s fist narrowly missing his face.</p><p>“Aevryn!”  His yelp was cut short and you weren’t entirely sure if he was trying to warn you, or call for help.  Either way you readied another knife, but as he ducked away from another swing you realized he was too close to the other man for you to attack.  You were afraid of missing and possibly hitting Jaskier instead.</p><p>“Fuck,” you swore under your breath as you watched, helpless.  </p><p>Much to your surprise, Jaskier fought back, his fist connecting with the man’s jaw and he seemed almost more shocked than the man did, shaking his hand and swearing at the sting of the impact.  However, the attacker recovered faster and you winced as the man’s fist caught the side of Jaskier’s face, knocking him back.  </p><p>Once Jaskier was out of the way you had enough room to act and your second dagger found its mark in the man’s throat.  Shocked, his hand went to the dagger, blood gurgling from his lips and spilling down his chin as he fell to his knees heavily.  “Come on,” you urged, pulling Jaskier to his feet and grabbing your instruments before dashing out of the tavern.</p><p>——</p><p>“Well, it looks like we get to sleep out under the stars again, like you wanted,” Jaskier sighed as he unrolled his bedroll next to the small fire you’d just built, and you had to laugh at the irony of it.</p><p>Flopping down next to him on your own bedroll, you scooted closer to inspect the dark bruise already blooming on his cheek.  “I didn’t really mean it,” you murmured, opening a small jar of salve from your pack to rub gently over his tender skin.</p><p>Wincing, Jaskier frowned.  “Didn’t mean what?”</p><p>“I was looking forward to sleeping in a bed too,” you admitted and grinned ruefully.</p><p>“I knew it.”</p><p>“Shh,” you admonished, finishing up with the salve and putting it away before laying down next to him.  </p><p>“Thank you, by the way,” Jaskier said after a moment, laying down as well and shifting on his bedroll to face you.</p><p>“What for?” You asked, your head rolling to the side to peer at him through the dark; the flickering light of the small campfire dancing across his face.</p><p>“Oh, I dunno, for saving my life earlier,” he replied with a touch of sarcasm, “Or did you forget about that part?”</p><p>“Oh right, that.”  You giggled, feeling light.  “You’re welcome.  Though you put up a good fight.  If I recall, you threw a couple good punches before that guy decked you.”</p><p>Jaskier scoffed softly.  “Are you always so modest?” </p><p>“Well someone has to balance out your inflated ego,” you teased with a laugh.</p><p>Silence fell for a moment, the only sound the crackling of the fire before Jaskier spoke again.  “Y’know this whole ordeal has only raised more questions about you than its answered.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yes, the first being: where the fuck did you learn how to fight like that?  And also, more importantly, exactly how many knives do you keep hidden on your person at all times?”</p><p>A grin cracked your lips and you turned to face him fully, cocking an amused eyebrow.  “Wouldn’t you like to know.”  The words came out huskier than you’d intended and Jaskier’s eyes widened as his mouth worked silently.</p><p>In that moment a brief image flitted teasingly across your subconscious, of Jaskier running his hands along the bodice of your dress, searching out the locations of all your hidden blades himself; his lips at your neck, and you nearly forgot to breathe, quickly banishing the thought as he began to splutter indignantly.</p><p>“Yes!  I would!  Hence the reason I asked!” </p><p>When you didn’t answer, still attempting to temper the fluttering in your stomach and the flash of heat that rolled through you at the mere thought of his hands on you, he rolled his eyes.  “Okay fine, keep your secrets then,” he pouted, “I forgot, you enjoy being mysterious.”</p><p>“One of us has to be,” you responded shakily, hoping he hadn’t heard the tremor in your voice.</p><p>Sighing, you decided he deserved at least part of an honest answer.  “I learned a long time ago how to defend myself.  As a woman traveling alone, it was kind of imperative.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” he conceded, growing somber, silence falling once more over the pair of you.</p><p>“So why exactly did that guy attack you?” you asked suddenly, propping your head up in your hand.</p><p>“Oh y’know, he thought I was someone else that had… wronged him in some capacity.”  You raised your eyebrows in mock surprise.  “Happens all the time.  I just have… one of those faces, I suppose.”</p><p>“What, handsome?” you quipped, the wine in your system lowering your inhibitions, and along with it, your defenses.</p><p>“No, just familiar,” he continued without really hearing you, until he froze, your words finally catching up to him.  “…Wait.  Did you just call me handsome?”</p><p>Shit.</p><p>“Did I say that?” you mused, trying your damnedest to keep a straight face.  “I thought you said that.”</p><p>“Ohhhh nonono, you’re not gunna slither outta this one, love,” Jaskier exclaimed, grinning widely as he scooted his bedroll closer, holding you captive with his gaze.  “You called me handsome.  Admit it.  You’re attracted to me.”</p><p>“I am not.”  You lied; scrambling to rebuild the wall he’d so effortlessly begun to weaken.</p><p>“I don’t believe you,” he countered, his smug expression deepening.  “Why are you so afraid to admit that you find me attractive?  I’ve told you countless times how beautiful I find you and it’s the easiest thing in the world.”</p><p>Your eyes narrowed at his words, though he didn’t seem to notice.  “Maybe it shouldn’t be that easy,” you hissed under your breath, your voice turning cold.  </p><p>‘Maybe that’s why that fellow had it in for you, because you so easily seduced his wife or sister, or-or daughter,’ you thought, anger gripping you —though you knew you weren’t really angry with him, but rather with yourself.  Jealous at the thought of him seducing someone else and frustrated to find that you were jealous.  That you’d let your guard down and how easily he’d seen right through you.  </p><p>As soon as the words left your lips you regretted them, but thankfully Jaskier hadn’t seemed to hear them over the crackle of the fire; still watching you expectantly.</p><p>Groaning softly, you squeezed your eyes closed and he instantly sobered.</p><p>“Aevryn?  Are you alright?  What’s wrong?”</p><p>The instant worry in his voice only served to shame you further, guilt and want filling you, until you could feel the telltale heat of tears beginning to well in your eyes.</p><p>“I, uhm.  I don’t feel so well,” you mumbled tremulously, taking a deep breath.  “I think… the wine…?” </p><p>“Oh, fuck,” Jaskier exclaimed softly, pushing himself up.  “You stay right there, get some rest.  I’ll get you some water.”</p><p>“Thank you,” you managed to murmur before turning to your side and pulling your cloak up to your chin, turning your back to him so he wouldn’t see your tears, though you scrubbed them away quickly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Almost two months.</em>
</p><p>Almost two months now spent on the road with Jaskier and though you felt happier than you had in living memory, every day that passed it became <em>that</em> much harder to keep the truth from him.  </p><p>The truth about what you were running from, the terrors that haunted your dreams.</p><p>The truth about your identity – if only to hear him call you by your <em>real</em> name and not the latest alias you’d had to adopt.</p><p>By now you knew he would want to help you in any way he could… <em>if he knew</em>.</p><p>
  <em>If you let him.</em>
</p><p>And you wanted <em>so</em> badly to let yourself trust him.  To let him in.</p><p>You often found yourself wondering just how much he’d managed to guess at on his own.  He wasn’t an idiot, no matter how some people tried to paint him as one.  He was sharp.  He noticed things.</p><p>So what <em>had</em> he noticed about you?</p><p>Chewing your lip as these troubling thoughts circled your head and churned your stomach you barely noticed that Jaskier had stopped singing, his hand going still on his lute, and had asked you a question; Swift still plowing along stolidly beneath you.</p><p>“Aev?” he repeated, glancing over his shoulder at you; the adorable flower crown you’d made for him earlier still perched jauntily on his head.</p><p>“Hmm?” you hummed, jarred from your dark thoughts.</p><p>“What do you think about that line?  Too much, right?” he asked, pulling a face.</p><p>“Which line?”</p><p>“Only the one I’ve been <em>agonizing</em> over for the last half hour,” he sighed.  “Haven’t you been listening?”</p><p>You grimaced as you answered truthfully.  “I’m sorry.  I kinda got lost in thought… and wasn’t paying attention.”</p><p>You waited for him to crack a joke or tease you about spacing out, but were met with silence.  “You know… if something’s troubling you, I’m always here to listen.”</p><p>The worry that laced his voice tore your gaze to him and upon glimpsing the serious set to his face white hot guilt seared through you and you felt sick.  In that moment it took all your willpower to keep from spilling every secret you’d been carrying.  </p><p>The temptation to share your burdens with someone else nearly out won your better senses, but by the time you’d taken a deep breath you had it under control once more.  You <em>couldn’t </em>burden Jaskier with this.  It was already enough that your very presence could potentially put him in danger as well.</p><p>“It’s nothing important, <em>really</em>.  Just got caught up thinking about the past.”</p><p>You were surprised at how even your voice sounded and Jaskier caught your eye over his shoulder, studying you for a moment before he nodded.</p><p>“Alright, well, my offer still stands anytime.  I know it might not seem like it, but I <em>am</em> a good listener,” he said, his usual grin slowly returning, “and an even better shoulder to cry on.”</p><p>The smile that tugged on your lips in return wasn’t forced and you huffed a small laugh.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind.”  </p><p>The mood back to normal, you gave Jaskier your full attention.  “Okay, so what’s this lyric you’re stuck on?”</p><p>——</p><p>Not less than an hour later the imposing walls of Tretogor loomed ahead and you firmly tamped down the flutter of worry that was attempting to worm its way back into your gut.  Cities were dangerous for more than one reason, and a capital even more so, but Jaskier had asked for this destination specifically, and you couldn’t say no.</p><p>“So where is this friend you need to meet?”  You asked as Jaskier helped you down from Swift’s back.</p><p>“Well, he’s less of a friend and more of a uhhh, friendly rival,” he explained, adjusting the strap of his lute case over his shoulder.</p><p>“So he’s another bard?”  You asked, raising a brow.</p><p>“Well, yes.  He usually hangs around the tavern, the Radiant Rooster, but you don’t wanna go there,” he quickly added, frowning slightly.</p><p>“Are you trying to get rid of me, Jaskier?” you asked, half teasing, unsure what to make of the fact that didn’t seem to want you to accompany him.</p><p>His blue eyes widened.  “Noo<em>nonono,</em> that’s not it,” he was swift to assure, raising his hands defensively.  “It’s just… how do I put this nicely?  He’s kind of a dick.  And I didn’t want—”, he sighed, cutting off, his eyes flitting away anxiously, not quite meeting yours.  </p><p>“Didn’t want what?” you prompted taking a step closer and tilting your head to catch his gaze.</p><p>Taking a deep breath he met your eyes.  “I know how he can be with women, and I didn’t – I don’t want him to hit on you.”</p><p>“Oh.”  You couldn’t seem to form any other words for a moment and Jaskier flushed endearingly.  “That’s… that’s very sweet of you Jaskier, but you know I can handle myself.”</p><p>“I know that,” he replied sheepishly.  “To be honest, it’s more for <em>my</em> benefit than yours.”</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>.”  </p><p>Now it was your turn to flush and look away.  “Alright then,” you said, deciding to cut him some slack and honor his wishes, “I’ll go check out the market while you’re at the Radiant Rooster and I’ll… meet you in about an hour?”</p><p>Jaskier sighed with relief and handed you Swift’s reins.</p><p>“Perfect!  I won’t be long!”</p><p>“Oh, wait!,” you called, lunging forward to grasp the cuff of his doublet before he took off.</p><p>“What is it?”  Jaskier spun back around to face you, his eyes briefly flicking to your hand at his wrist.</p><p>“You, uhm, you’re still wearing the flower crown,” you explained, pointing to his head while trying to hide your grin.</p><p>Glancing upward Jaskier grimaced, reaching up to delicately remove the chain of daisies and buttercups you’d weaved for him earlier.  “Ah, no wonder the guards were staring at me strangely,” he sighed before a grin flashed across his face moments later.  “Oh well, it’ll probably look better on you anyways,” he announced, placing the flowers over your hair and stepping back to admire you, his gaze tender.  “Yep.  Absolute perfection.”</p><p>Your heart in your throat you reached up to gingerly brush the flower petals with your fingers, waiting for your voice to return.  “I dunno,” you said weakly, “I thought you looked rather lovely yourself.”</p><p>“Flatterer,” Jaskier whispered, leaning close to your ear before grasping your hand and squeezing.  “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”</p><p>“I should be the one saying that!” you called after him, not quite able to stop smiling.</p><p>——</p><p>The market was bustling and to kill some time you peered at some of the stalls with little interest before moving on, weaving through the dense crowd.  One stall, however caught your eye and you stopped, ducking under the awning to linger over the wares; your fingers brushing over the small trinkets on display.  One small silver brooch in particular seemed to call to you and you couldn’t help but think how striking it would look pinned to Jaskier’s lapel.  After a moment’s hesitation you purchased it, exchanging a few coins with the shopkeep and slipping it into your belt pouch to surprise him with later.</p><p>After circling the rest of the market you picked out a spot off to the side with a good view of the mouth of the street and stood, stroking Swift’s velvety nose while attempting to both stay alert <em>and</em> block out the majority of the noise pressing in on you.  Several minutes elapsed as you watched the people around you, your sharp eyes checking each face that passed; always on the lookout, before you felt someone bump into you hard from behind and stumble to the ground at your feet.</p><p>At first glance you could see it was a wizened old crone and you hurried to help her stand; grasping her arm to pull her up.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>“‘m fine, fine,” the old woman mumbled, straightening as much as her bent back would allow.  However, when her deep cowl turned toward you, you nearly stumbled back in fright at the sight of her large milky eyes staring straight through you until you realized, feeling rather foolish, that she was merely blind.  Her hand on your wrist tightened painfully though as she continued to stare, bringing you to wince.</p><p>“T-that hurts –”</p><p>“Be wary child,” her voice rasped urgently; the rest of your words dying on your tongue as she pulled you closer.  “He hunts you still and he is closing in.  Nowhere is safe.  Not until he draws his last breath.  You cannot run forever.”</p><p>Unable to speak you merely stood frozen as her bony fingers bruised your skin; fear enveloping you as a mirthless hollow laugh rang in your ears, magnified by the sounds of the market, voices overlapping; too loud in your ears.  <em>Too loud</em>.  Suddenly the crone was gone, disappeared into the swell of the crowd and you whipped your head around, searching the street for her, her warning taunting you until it was all you could hear.  </p><p>Out of the sea of people a face suddenly swam into view and you flinched back as it moved straight toward you as if in slow motion – the face that haunted your dreams nearly every night, and suddenly it was if you had never left; emotions rolling over you, threatening to pull you under.</p><p>
  <em>Pain.  Punishment.  Anger.  Bruises and wounds soothed by soft words and false promises, empty apologies, and poisoned professions of undying love.  Fear; lingering, choking, festering.  Always there, even in the good times.  Always the fear of angering him, his mood darkening in the blink of an eye.  Never knowing which version you would see from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour —the charmer or the monster.  Hands at your waist, pawing at your clothes; alcohol drenched breath on your skin.  No.  No!  Protests ignored, overpowered.  Your duty.  Tired of fighting.  Close your eyes, wait for it to end.</em>
</p><p>“Aevryn!”  </p><p>Strong hands grasped your arms and you struggled for a moment, panic flaring in your chest as you tried to push him away until you realized it was Jaskier.</p><p>“Hey, it’s me, it’s me!  Are you alright?  You’re pale as a sheet.  It’s like you’ve seen a ghost.”</p><p>Closing your eyes you tried to ground yourself; focusing on Jaskier’s grip on your arms and the blue of his eyes.  “Aev?  Did something happen?  What did that beggar say to you?”</p><p>“Nothing.”  You shook your head, your pulse pounding deafeningly in your ears.  “She just… startled me.”</p><p>The bard frowned, unconvinced, but he didn’t press any further.  “Come on, we need to get you calmed down.”  His hand slipped down to your wrist as he led you to the nearest tavern where he proceeded to order you both drinks, choosing a booth tucked into the corner, far away from the other handful patrons.  </p><p>“Here, drink this.  It’ll calm your nerves,” he said, pushing one of the mugs toward you.  </p><p>You stared down into the mug of pale amber liquid in front of you for a moment before nodding and lifting it to your lips to take a long draw, swallowing the somewhat bitter ale thirstily.  As you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand you noticed Jaskier watching you warily; his eyes worried and his usually grinning lips pressed together in a tense line.</p><p>You opened your mouth to try to explain, but he took a deep breath and spoke first.  “Whatever you saw in the market, whatever you were experiencing, it wasn’t real.  You’re safe,” he insisted, moving his hand hesitantly across the table, placing it over yours.</p><p>You didn’t move your hand away.</p><p>“Thank you,” you murmured, trying to sound as calm as possible, you even managed to look him in the eye though your pulse was still tremulous.  “I’m fine Jask, really.”</p><p>He still seemed doubtful as you took another drink, searching for anything to say to distract him.  The ale was starting to calm your nerves, and the warmth of his hand on yours didn’t hurt either.</p><p>“So, how did your meeting go at the Radiant Rooster?” you asked, grasping at the distraction.</p><p>It did the trick because as soon as you asked, Jaskier’s eyes lit up.  “That’s right, I almost forgot!” he exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in excitement.  “I have <em>amazing</em> news.  So, how’s this for exhilarating?  You and I are going to be performing at the palace tomorrow night for the King’s birthday celebration.”</p><p>“<em>What</em>?” you asked, gaping at him across the table, the incident in the marketplace all but forgotten for the moment.  “Did I hear you correctly?  We’re playing for the <em>King</em>?  At the palace?  How did you–?”</p><p>Jaskier merely grinned, basking in your amazement.  “We’re not the only musicians that will be there,” he admitted, a touch sourly, “but I have it on good authority that we will be amongst the <em>best</em> there and that the party is going to be one to remember.  Or forget, depending on how much wine is served,” he added with a shrug.</p><p>“Is your <em>friend</em> going to be performing as well?” you wondered, trying to imagine this man that Jaskier had been so keen to keep you away from earlier.  </p><p>Jaskier’s grimace was confirmation enough.  </p><p>“Unfortunately,” he grumbled, folding his hands around his mug.  “But it can’t be helped, at least I’ll be able to enjoy watching the pompous ass’s face when we upstage him on his own turf.”  He paused to take a drink, seeming to remember something else mid-swallow.  “Oh!  There is <em>one</em> more thing.  Before tomorrow night we’ll need to upgrade our look,” he explained, picking at the worn silk of his open jacket.  “My doublet’s seen better days and as lovely as you always look, I think something just a little flashier will be just the thing.”</p><p>“Flashier…?”  Suddenly self conscious you glanced down at your dress.  “<em>How</em> flashy?”</p><p>Sensing your trepidation Jaskier was quick to ease your worries before rambling on.  “Trust me, I’ll make sure you look amazing, love.  I’m thinking something colour coordinated.  It’ll be costly to have something made at such short notice, but I know a guy–”</p><p>——</p><p>“So, what do you think?”  Jaskier asked, pulling aside the curtain with a flourish and stepping out, his arms spread to show off his new outfit.  As he approached he made a small 180 so you could see him at all angles before stopping in front of you and waiting for your appraisal.</p><p>Stepping up to him, a smile playing at the corner of your lips, you straightened his collar, your hands running over the slope of his shoulders, smoothing the silky dark blue fabric.  “You look quite dashing,” you murmured, your fingers moving to fasten the topmost button he’d forgotten.  “You look good in anything, but I think this colour suits you best.  It brings out the striking blue of your eyes, and there’s just enough gold embroidery to draw attention without looking gaudy.”  </p><p>Your gaze flicked up to find him watching you, smiling softly and you suddenly realized how close you were.  Just a few more inches and you could easily tilt your head back and press your lips to his.  Shaking yourself from this thought you quickly stepped back, slipping your hands from his chest to clasp in your skirts, your face heating.</p><p>Perhaps it was merely your imagination, but you could have sworn Jaskier’s grin faltered slightly, disappointment flickering across his face for an instant before smoothing as you stepped back.  “I’m glad you like it,” he said, glancing down at himself as he ran his own hands over the fabric as well.  “Now, it’s your turn,” he exclaimed with a grin, gesturing toward the changing curtain.  “I’m excited to see how yours looks on you.”</p><p>Slightly nervous you slipped into the small changing area to find your new dress hanging there waiting for you.  Jaskier had ordered it to his specifications and this was the first time seeing it with your own eyes.  Running your fingers over the rich midnight blue velvet of the bodice with a soft gasp, you admired the intricate thread of gold embroidery around the neckline, thinning out into little starbursts as they trailed down toward the gauzy tulle of the skirt.  You wondered how much extra Jaskier had to pay to have this made in a day and a half’s time.  The embroidery alone had to have taken a considerable amount of time to apply and you felt kind of sorry for the poor seamstresses who had to work so fast.</p><p>Taking a deep breath you stripped and pulled the dress up, slipping your arms through the snug sleeves… there was only one problem you realized, reaching behind yourself… you could only tie the dress up halfway and there was no attendant to help you finish. </p><p>Taking a deep breath you called through the curtain, “Uhm, Jaskier?”  </p><p>“Mhmm?  Almost done?”  His voice sang back.  “I’m on pins and needles waiting here, <em>please</em> come out and end my suffering.”</p><p>“I uh, I need a little help…”  Pulling back the curtain you stepped out reluctantly, holding the front of the dress tight against your chest so it wouldn’t slip down.  “I can’t finish tying it up on my own.”</p><p>Jaskier’s eyes widened noticeably as they very obviously swept down your form and he swallowed.  “Of-of course.”  </p><p>You turned so he could tighten the laces, shivers racing up your spine as his fingers brushed against your skin.  He fumbled a couple times, but soon he announced he was finished and stepped back so you could turn to face him once more.</p><p>“I was right.  Absolutely breathtaking,” he murmured and you had to duck your head to hide your burning cheeks.  “Do you like it?”</p><p>“I do,” you replied, arranging the skirt and swinging your hips to make it swish around your legs, a smile pulling your lips.  “I feel like a princess in a fairytale,” you admitted with a laugh.</p><p>“Does that make me the prince?”  Jaskier asked with a wry smile, offering you his hand.  You glanced at it for a moment before taking it and he spun you, dancing without music.</p><p>You thought for a second and couldn’t help but laugh harder.  “More like the court bard who constantly tries to woo me with song and sweet words; promises of running off into the sunset together to escape my imminent and unwanted betrothal.”  </p><p>Jaskier’s brows rose and he chuckled delightedly.  “Ooo I like that even better.  Fits me to a t.”  He hesitated for a moment and you came to a stop, his arm still wrapped loosely around your waist.  “And do you?”</p><p>Somewhat dazed by the sudden stop you tilt your head in confusion.  “Do I what?”</p><p>“Run away with the bard?”</p><p>“<em>Jaskier</em>…” Your voice dies away and you can’t seem to make it come back for several moments.  “Thank you for the dress,” you finally manage with a whisper, avoiding the question.  “We’re going to look amazing tonight.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was it, the hour of the king’s party.</p><p>Upon arrival at the palace you’d been surprised to find that even a humble minstrel such as yourself was to be treated like a guest, and you and Jaskier were shown to separate rooms to freshen up.  Your stomach buzzed with anxiety as you checked your reflection in the large gilt framed mirror in your room.</p><p>Nerves about the party mixed with the lingering apprehension from your episode in the market the other morning until you were pacing the room, muttering positive affirmations under your breath in an attempt to calm yourself.  The knock at the door startled you, but you were glad to see Jaskier standing there, a reassuring smile on his face.</p><p>“You ready?” he asked, his blue eyes flicking down to admire your new dress once more.  “For the record, you look amazing, by the way.”</p><p>“<em>We</em> look amazing,” you insisted with a grin, admiring him in return.   Suddenly you remembered the gift you had for him and swore under your breath, rushing back into the room, wanting him to wear it with his new doublet.  “Hold on!  Just a moment!”</p><p>Jaskier followed, watching you curiously as you rummaged through your belt pouch, left on the bed.</p><p>“Forget something?” he teased.</p><p>“Close your eyes,” you instructed instead, giving Jaskier a level look when he merely stared at you in confusion.  “Come on we’ll be late.  Close your eyes,” you repeated.</p><p>Sighing dramatically Jaskier obeyed, an amused half grin playing at his lips.  “What are you going to do to me?” he asked coyly, wriggling his eyebrows though his eyes stayed closed.</p><p>“I’m going to prick you with this pin if you don’t stop moving,” you grumbled, fastening the small silver brooch you’d picked out at the market to his lapel.  “<em>There</em>,” you breathed, stepping back.  “You can open your eyes now.”</p><p>Jaskier’s eyelids fluttered open and his hand went to his collar and he turned toward the mirror.  “You got this for me?” he murmured in disbelief, leaning closer to his reflection to get a better look.  </p><p>“I saw it at the market and thought of you,” you replied simply.</p><p>When Jaskier didn’t respond you stepped up to his side, your reflection joining his in the mirror.  “What’s wrong?” you asked, afraid you’d upset him somehow.</p><p>“Nothing.”  He grinned, turning to you.  “It’s just, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a gift just for the hell of it.  Thank you.”</p><p>You could already feel your cheeks heating.  “Compared to how much you spent on this dress, it’s really nothing,” you murmured.</p><p>“Well <em>I</em> don’t think it’s nothing,” Jaskier said, hesitating before leaning forward quickly to press a chaste kiss to your cheek.</p><p>Without giving you time to react properly besides pressing your fingers to the place his lips had been moments ago Jaskier hooked his arm with yours and pulled you out into the hall, laughter in his voice.</p><p>“Come on, they’re gunna start without us if we don’t hurry!”</p><p>——</p><p>The throne room was resplendent in gold and royal purple with candles glittering on every surface and you couldn’t help but gape at the sight.  Courtiers and revelers filled the long tables arranged around the great hall, decked in their finest garb and jewels, and you were somewhat surprised to find you blended in quite well in your fine new dress.  The rich smells of the different dishes laden on every table had your mouth watering and you chewed your lip as you decided which you wanted to try first.</p><p>Catching Jaskier watching you with an amused smile you leaned in so he could hear you over the hum of voices.  “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”</p><p>“Really?  I couldn’t tell,” he teased dryly.  “If you don’t pick your jaw up off the floor you may trip over it.”</p><p>“<em>Rude</em>,” you gasped, elbowing him in the ribs, unable to hide your smile as he winced.</p><p>Taking your place with the other musicians you eyed them as you began softly tuning your fiddle.  You were the only woman in the group.</p><p>There was one bard that stood out to you above the rest, wending his way across the room, lute in hand, toward the royal table to speak with the king.  He was a peacock of a man, his doublet richly coloured and the silk hat on his golden curls bore a ridiculously long feather.</p><p>“Let me guess, that fellow over there is the <em>friend</em> you met with yesterday?” you asked Jaskier.  He glanced up from his lute, his gaze following yours.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s him, <em>Monteforte</em>,” he grumbled darkly.  “At least Valdo Marx isn’t here,” he added under his breath as the King rose from his seat to address the crowd, welcoming them and calling for the food to be served.  As he sat, the bard Jaskier had called Monteforte stepped out onto the floor with a flourish, much to Jaskier’s chagrin, his lips twisting with disdain during the man’s performance.</p><p>After a couple songs Monteforte swept his arm out, gesturing toward yourself and Jaskier.  “Your Highness, I’d like to introduce my old friend, Jaskier and his lovely companion, Miss Aevryn.”</p><p>Jaskier threw you a shocked glance before composing himself and swaggering over to Monteforte.  As you followed, trying to look half as self-assured, you noticed the way the guests tittered excitedly when Jaskier took the floor; several ladies’ gazes following him with interest as they spoke in hushed tones behind their silk fans.</p><p>Curtsying to the King to match Jaskier’s bow you positioned your fiddle under your chin and began to play on his count.  Closing your eyes you focused on your breath and the feel of the strings beneath your callused fingers; the sound of the music and Jaskier’s voice filling the hall.  Soon people were getting up to dance and the overall feel of the space was becoming more familiar to you, chasing away the nerves that threatened to overwhelm you.</p><p>After several songs Jaskier turned the floor over to you and you nodded to the rest of the musicians to back you up, playing the first notes of a lively hornpipe; looking to show off a little.  Surveying the crowd when you could spare the concentration, you managed a smile and a wink for the King, who looked absolutely tickled, before finding Jaskier.  You half expected him to be surrounded by a handful of young countesses or the like, but to your surprise he stood off to the side speaking with Monteforte, their eyes flicking to you as the other bard clapped Jaskier on the back.  </p><p>‘<em>What’s that all about</em>,’ you wondered, dying to know just what the two were talking about.</p><p>Bowing to the King after several more songs you headed straight for your table and downed a glass of wine before searching the room once more for Jaskier.  The revelers were everywhere now and it took several minutes for you to pick him out, circled by a group of noblewomen.  Scowling, you poured yourself another glass, thinking to numb the pang of jealousy in your chest with more wine when Monteforte approached, his gloved hand extended.</p><p>“I’ve been waiting all night for this chance, my dear, and I’ll be damned if I don’t take it before someone else snatches you up.  Won’t you please honour me with a dance?”</p><p>Taken aback you stared at his hand before glancing back to Jaskier, whose gaze met yours across the room.  Clearing your throat you nodded, setting down your goblet and taking the bard’s hand.  Joining the other dancers Monteforte spun you and you fell into step with him easily.</p><p>“Julian was right about you, you know,” he murmured cryptically, flashing you a charming smile.</p><p>“Julian?” you asked, confused.</p><p>“Forgive me, Jaskier,” he clarified with a chuckle.  </p><p>“And what was he right about?” you asked, watching Jaskier out of the corner of your eye.</p><p>“That it would be a travesty if you were not in attendance tonight,” Monteforte replied smoothly.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Those were the words he used as he begged me for an invitation for the two of you.  I must admit I was rather surprised that he was more worried about making sure you should be in the spotlight than himself.  I’ve known Julian for a long time and believe me when I say that this is a first for him.  I’d say he cares for you rather deeply.  He hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off you all night, you know?”</p><p>Monteforte smiled knowingly as you fought for the words that were caught in your throat.  </p><p>“Ah, speak of the devil,” he announced as Jaskier appeared at your side looking flustered, a frown creasing his forehead.</p><p>“Okay okay, that’s enough of that,” he exclaimed shooing the other bard away.  “I’m cutting in now.”</p><p>Monteforte merely smiled as he bowed to you and backed away; the amused look in his eyes speaking volumes.</p><p>“Hey, he didn’t say anything, oh I dunno, <em>inappropriate</em> to you, did he?” Jaskier asked, a touch defensively and you couldn’t help but laugh.</p><p>“No,” you gasped with mirth as he spun you across the floor.  “We talked about <em>you</em> actually.”</p><p>“Me?”  Jaskier nearly stumbled, muttering something about loose lipped cads under his breath.  </p><p>“Why did you tell me that Monteforte invited us to play tonight when he made it sound like you begged him for the honour?  Is that why you didn’t want to meet him initially?”</p><p>The more questions you asked the more uncomfortable Jaskier appeared.</p><p>“I told him not to tell you,” he grumbled under his breath, glowering across the room at the other man.  Turning back to you he sombered.  “I”m sorry… I wanted to surprise you with this, and yes, I didn’t exactly want you to see me abase myself for this opportunity,” he admitted.</p><p>“He said you did it for me,” you murmured, watching his face carefully.</p><p>Jaskier’s eyes met yours as the music stopped.  </p><p>“I did.  I would do anything for you.”</p><p>The words were so soft you almost didn’t catch them as the next song began and the other dancers moved around you as you stood still in the middle of the floor.  Overwhelmed with affection you did the first thing you could think of, leaning in to kiss him lightly on the cheek.</p><p>“Oh, Jask.  Thank you.”</p><p>——</p><p>Jaskier sat down heavily on the edge of his bed as you took a swig from the bottle of wine you’d taken with you once the party had finally wound down.  Giggling, you handed him the bottle before plopping down next to him.</p><p>“That was so amazing,” you exclaimed, replaying the evening over in your head, still in awe of everything you’d gotten to experience.  Jaskier stiffened next to you as you leaned into his side, but didn’t move, instead offering you the bottle back.  </p><p>Feeling slightly tipsy, but not yet drunk you shook your head, not wanting to worry about a hangover in the morning.  Shrugging, he brought the wine to his lips for another long drink.</p><p>“So,” you mused, warm and slightly uninhibited; the words falling from your lips without filter.   “You seemed a bit jealous when Monteforte asked me to dance.”</p><p> Jaskier choked on the wine, quickly pulling the bottle from his mouth to cough.  “Wha – no!” he spluttered, setting the bottle on the nightstand and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  “I certainly, was not, <em>jealous</em>,” he remarked haltingly.</p><p>A coy grin crossed your face.  “I dunno, you extricated yourself from that group of ladies rather quickly in order to steal me away from your rival,” you pointed out.</p><p>Jaskier cleared his throat, not quite looking at you.  “And I suppose <em>you</em> weren’t jealous either that I was surrounded by beautiful women all vying for my attention?”</p><p>“Nope, not at all,” you quipped, though your voice came out tenser than you planned.</p><p>“…<em>Aev</em>,” Jaskier sighed, his expression sobering.  “How long are we going to keep up this farce?”</p><p>“What farce?” you asked, voice cracking, and in that moment you wished more than anything you had the bottle of wine back.</p><p>“That we’re not crazy for each other.”</p><p>“<em>Jask</em>…” You couldn’t remember leaning in, closing the already thin gap between Jaskier and yourself, but as your eyes flicked up to his you realized just how close you were and suddenly you hesitated; wanting so badly to just give in.</p><p><em>What’s stopping you? </em> A voice in your head whispered.</p><p><em>I’m afraid</em>, you whispered back.  <em>Afraid of trusting, only to get hurt again.</em></p><p><em>But think of what you’re missing if you don’t even try?</em>  The voice replied, giving no quarter.  <em>We both know you want this.  Have wanted it for a long time now.</em></p><p>“Aevryn?”  Jaskier breathed, his lips so close to yours and you shivered at the warmth of his breath against your skin.  Closing your eyes you pulled away though every fibre of your being screamed in protest.</p><p>“I <em>can’t</em>.”</p><p>Your voice came out more like a strangled sob and you pushed off the bed, the urge to run growing.</p><p>“Why not?” Jaskier asked, following you to your feet.  “Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“Oh Gods, no!” you exclaimed, looking at him and then and knowing it was a mistake.  </p><p>“Then <em>why</em>?”  The crack of desperation in his voice was too much and you shuddered.  </p><p>“Because if I kiss you now, i won’t be able to stop,” you whispered.</p><p>“Then don’t stop.”</p><p>Jaskier’s plea broke what little restraint you had left and you fell into his arms, your lips colliding.</p><p>The whine that left your throat was quickly swallowed as Jaskier deepened the kiss and you eagerly gave in, pulling him closer, stumbling back toward the bed as his hands roamed your body.  Your head swam at the intensity behind his kisses and you tugged at his open doublet in a feverish haste to undress him.</p><p>Spinning you suddenly Jaskier tilted you back and a gasp burst from your lips as you fell to the bed and he shucked off his jacket, climbing over you to resume where he’d left off kissing you thoroughly.  The soft moans and whimpers he managed to elicit sounded foreign to your ears, but all you could think was that you wanted more.</p><p>Desperately your hands went to his undershirt, fingers fumbling with buttons until the light fabric fell open, baring his chest, and you ran your fingers over the dark exposed hair.  Humming into your mouth with pleasure at the feel of your hands on him Jaskier ran a palm up the outside of your leg, pushing up the tulle of your skirt and massaging your soft skin as his body pressed you further down into the mattress.</p><p>Your bodies nearly flush you gasped as you felt his arousal straining his trousers and the fog of lust cleared for a moment as the reality of what you were sprinting headlong toward caught up to you.  </p><p>“Jaskier, wait,” you murmured hastily as his lips left yours to gasp a breath and he froze, worry flickering across his visage.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asked, the huskiness of his voice sending heat flooding through you despite your request.</p><p>“I need to tell you something first.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“My name isn’t Aevryn.  It’s [ y/n ],” you blurted out, the urge to tell him the truth overpowering the white hot desire that gripped you.</p><p>Jaskier’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t interrupt as you quickly continued.</p><p>“I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid.  I’ve been on the run, hiding for so long now,” you trailed off, shame welling up inside you and you turned your face to the side, unable to face him.</p><p>“<em>Hey</em>,” Jaskier murmured as he gently turned your face back to him, his hand caressing your cheek.  “I know.”</p><p>Swallowing, you nearly gaped up at him.  “You <em>know</em>?” you asked, unable to keep the incredulity from your voice.</p><p>“I guessed, anyway,” he admitted softly.  “I figured you would tell me what you were running from when you were ready.”  A chuckle burst from his lips then.  “I didn’t exactly think it would be in the middle of getting hot and heavy.”</p><p>You couldn’t help but huff a laugh in return at the irony of it.  “Yes well, I didn’t want you to go into this, believing a lie.”  Taking a shaky breath you looked into his face, your hand reaching up to comb your fingers through his mussed chestnut hair falling over his forehead.</p><p>“Jaskier I’m married.”  There you’d said it.</p><p>If he was surprised he didn’t show it.</p><p>“My-my… husband,” you began, fumbling over the word, now foreign to your mouth, “he’s a monster.  He —“ Having to stop to take another breath Jaskier waited patiently, his thumb slowly caressing the length of your jaw as you fought to get the words out.  “He would beat me when he was unhappy and-and… I had to get away from him and there was no other way.”</p><p>“Shh, it’s alright,” Jaskier quickly assured you, not wanting you to have to put your pain into words.  “I get the picture…” Sadness filled his blue eyes, but he didn’t pull away.</p><p>“You’re not mad?”  The question left your lips in a whisper.  “You’re not going to leave me?”</p><p>“<em>No</em>.”  The fierceness in Jaskier’s voice stunned you and all you could manage to do was stare at him.  “Aev — [ y/n ],” he corrected, seeming to savor the sound of it, “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave.  I-I think I’ve finally discovered what pleases me and I’m not going to let it go.”</p><p>“Oh, Julian,” his given name fell from your lips and you tightened your arms around him, pulling him back down to you.  “I want you,” you admitted softly.  “Now there are no more secrets between us.”</p><p>A smile spread across his face and he leaned forward to press his lips to yours slowly, his kiss gentle but far from chaste, his teeth nipping at your lower lip as he pulled back slightly to catch your gaze.  “I want you too,” he groaned, resting his forehead against yours.</p><p>“Then don’t stop.”  </p><p>You purred his words from earlier back to him, your eyes finding and holding his as they darkened with lust.  The low desperate growl that rumbled from his throat sent heat pooling low in your stomach and then his mouth was on yours again, though this time slow and deliberate as though he were savoring you like he savored your name.</p><p>Breaking to pull his shirt over his head he pulled you up with him, his hands deftly working to loosen the laces on the back of your dress as his lips explored your neck and jaw until your dress fell away.  Lowering you back down Jaskier eased the delicate fabric down your waist and your lifted your hips so he could slide it off completely, letting it pool on the floor, soon joined by the remainder of his clothes.</p><p>By the flickering light from the fireplace you admired him, committing his body to memory, as no doubt he was doing the same.  Crawling back over you, his hands gliding up your body stopped to caress your breasts as he kissed you, tasting you, the heat between your thighs spreading.</p><p>You could feel his hardness twitch against your thigh and you rolled your hips against him, pleased with the low groan it drew from Jaskier’s lips.</p><p>“Jaskier,” you moaned and could feel his grin against your skin as his hands continued their exploration of your fevered flesh.  “Please…”</p><p>“Please <em>what</em>?” he asked, lifting his head to watch you.</p><p>“Please, touch me,” you said, breathlessly.</p><p>“Oh, but I am touching you,” he replied, pausing to trace a finger teasingly down your navel and over the crest of your hip; your body practically quivering in response.  He was so close to where you wanted him and it was clear he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted until you begged.</p><p>“Jaskier please, you know what I want,” you tried again, but the coy smile that curved his lips wickedly made it clear you would have to say it.</p><p>“Do I?” he mused, leaning back down to trail kisses across your chest, nipping at your skin between each open mouthed kiss.  The warmth of his tongue nearly drove you mad and you finally gave in.</p><p>“I want you inside me,” you gasped in frustration and Jaskier chuckled in response.</p><p>“Oh, like this?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow as he brushed his thumb over your throbbing cunt and slid a finger between your folds, adding a second one as you rolled your hips instinctively to meet each slow thrust.</p><p>“Are you always such a tease?” you managed to gasp, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.</p><p>“Maybe I just want to take my time with you,” Jaskier replied, wetting his lips.  Your eyes followed the quick swipe of his tongue, biting your lip as his fingers continued to move in and out of you, curling up to hit just the right spot.  “All the best things are worth waiting for, are they not?”</p><p>Smiling, you pulled him closer, kissing his laughing lips, feeling the heat between your legs coiling.  Just as you hit the brink, ready to overflow Jaskier pulled his hand away and the frustrated whine that left your lips only seemed to fuel him.</p><p>Before you could complain, you felt his length press against you, replacing his slick fingers and you shuddered as it teased your entrance.</p><p>“Oh please,” you whimpered, closing your eyes.</p><p>Jaskier kissed you slowly as he pressed into you by increments until he was fully sheathed.  “Oh <em>fuck</em>.”  The plea that tumbled from your lips was soon replaced by moans that grew louder as he began to move in you, thrusting slowly at first until he was certain you were accustomed to his size.  </p><p>At some point you wondered if the guests in the rooms next to his could hear your cries, but you were past caring.  All you could think of was him and how wonderful the moment was, how <em>good</em> and right he felt, until you could no longer think at all, the pleasure his every movement, his every touch overwhelming your senses, pushing you toward the edge.</p><p>Your cries reached a fever pitch, mixing with his string of praise and encouragement, begging you to cum for him, to call his name.</p><p>
  <em>And you did.  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wrapped in sheets and tucked comfortably against Jaskier’s warm chest, your legs still entwined with his, a contented hum passed your lips as he wrapped his arm around your side, pulling you closer and resting his chin atop the crown of your head.  Sighing softly, a shiver ran through you as his fingertips traced idle patterns against your skin while you stroked his chest hair, your fingers tangling in the long silver chain he wore round his neck.</p><p>“That was –” you sighed, searching for the perfect word to describe how <em>perfect</em> your first time together had been.</p><p>“Amaaazing?  Hot?  Worthy of song?” Jaskier cut in, supplying descriptors and you giggled, craning your neck to catch a glimpse of his face. </p><p>“All of the above.  And then some,” you decided, earning you an amused chuckle which rumbled through his chest.</p><p>“So,” he began, running his fingers up and down the length of your arm.  “What do you want to do next?”</p><p>“Round two?” You suggested, half joking.  “Or did you mean just in general, after tonight?”</p><p>Jaskier laughed again.  “Oh, round two is certainly on the table, but yes, in general.  Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to travel to next?”</p><p>Snuggling closer you let your eyes close as you breathed in his scent.  “Mmm, not really.  Wherever the wind takes us?” you mused with a soft laugh.  “I’ll be happy anywhere, as long as you’re with me,” you answered truthfully.</p><p>“Gods, how are you so perfect?”  Jaskier murmured, lifting your hand from his chest to kiss softly.</p><p>Comfortable silence settled on the room and after several minutes you began to wonder if Jaskier had fallen asleep.  However, when you shifted to glance at him you found him staring ahead into space, silently chewing his bottom lip as if deep in thought.</p><p>“What are you thinking about over there, hmm?” you asked softly, wriggling your fingers still clasped in his hand.</p><p>Jumping slightly when he noticed you watching him intently, he gave a rueful chuckle.  “I –” he paused to clear his throat, his eyes flicking away sheepishly, “I was just trying to think of a way to solve your uhm, well your little husband problem,” Jaskier admitted.  “I had a thought, but well, I don’t think it’ll work after all.”</p><p>“What’s that?” you asked, touched that he was giving your dilemma such serious thought.</p><p>“Well, I thought, hey I know a guy that might be able to help, even if he doesn’t like to get involved in the ‘squabbles of humans’, except he <em>does</em> all the time,” he grumbled under his breath.</p><p>“Are you talking about your witcher friend?”  You distinctly remembered how Jaskier had reacted when you’d brought up Geralt’s name when you first met.</p><p>“Ah.  Yeah,” Jaskier replied, deflating as if remembering something.  “Actually, nevermind, that won’t work.”  When you looked confused he sighed and elaborated.  “The last time we spoke he made it quite clear that I was nothing more than a burden and that he didn’t want me around.”</p><p>“Oh Jask…” you murmured, the dejection in his voice pulling at your heart and you pushed yourself up to look him in the eyes as you caressed his cheek.  He leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering shut, a shaky breath rattling through his parted lips.</p><p>It explained a lot.</p><p>“Julian Alfred Pankratz, you are the farthest thing from a burden, and Geralt of Rivia is a light blinded fool if he truly thinks that.”  The quiet fierceness in your voice surprised even you, but you meant every word, and Jaskier eyed you with awe, his mouth falling open slightly.</p><p>“And who knows, maybe René will never find me, or maybe he’s already stopped looking and I’m just being paranoid, but if he hasn’t then we will cross that bridge if and when when we come to it.  Besides, it’s not like I’m completely defenseless.”</p><p>Jaskier looked conflicted, but he finally nodded in agreement.  </p><p>“Perhaps you could show me how to do that little trick of yours with your knives,” he suggested, his voice turning husky.</p><p>“I suppose I could teach you,” you replied slowly, climbing into his lap to straddle him, resting your arms over his shoulders as you regarded him with a smoky grin.</p><p>“Good,” he quipped, his arms snaking around your waist, pulling you closer, “because I want to protect you too, if it comes to that.”</p><p>The heat in his voice was enough to make you shiver, and while the thought of Jaskier deftly wielding a blade was almost too hot to handle, the fact that he wanted to learn in order to protect you, well you couldn’t think of anything more romantic.</p><p>Still, you hoped it wouldn’t come to that.</p><p>Jaskier rolling his hips under you shocked you out of your thoughts and the feel of his reinvigorated desire teasingly pressed against you had heat flooding you once more.  “I believe there was the mention of a second round, earlier?” Jaskier drawled, changing the subject, a roguish grin spreading across his face as he squeezed your bare ass.</p><p>“Someone’s impatient,” you replied, a noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan cutting through your words as Jaskier leaned forward to plant his lips against your neck, his teeth nipping hard enough to mark you.</p><p>“What – do you – expect” he asked between kisses and you found yourself grinding lazily against him in return, “when you’re sitting naked – in my lap – and looking like <em>that</em>?”</p><p>Throwing your head back as you arched against him you couldn’t help the delighted laughter that spilled forth as his lips moved lower, peppering your breasts with open mouthed kisses; absolute affection for the man beneath you spilling over, making you giddy.</p><p>This is how it’s <em>supposed</em> to be, you thought, holding him tighter.</p><p>Suddenly Jaskier’s face tilted back, his chin resting between your breasts as his clear blue eyes peered at you, holding you captive.  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” he asked softly.</p><p>“What, to bed me?” you asked with a laugh, but Jaskier’s expression didn’t alter.</p><p>“No, to see you with your walls completely down,” he replied and your breath caught in your throat.  His lips parted as if he had more he wanted to say and you swore you could almost hear the words, but they remained unspoken and you realized in that moment just how much you <em>wanted</em> to hear them –to say them in return.</p><p>Instead you contented yourself with capturing his lips with yours, desperate to show him, at least, how you felt.</p><p>——</p><p>The next few weeks became a blur, and you’d never been happier.  Continuing your travels south you filled your days listening to Jaskier’s tales and writing new songs together.  You even began sharing some of your own stories with him.  They were never as exciting as his adventures with Geralt, but he would listen, enraptured, treating each new morsel of information about your past as if it were a priceless treasure he’d uncovered, hoping to one day collect all the pieces.</p><p>Your nights were spent much the same as before: drinking, dancing, and performing, except now when you were finished you’d retire to your shared room, or lay together under the stars – sometimes spending hours getting lost in each other, mapping out each other’s bodies by touch, and learning each other’s most intimate desires by trial and error before falling asleep, safe and warm in Jaskier’s arms.</p><p>You even made good on your promise to begin teaching him how to use your knives and Jaskier was a surprisingly adept student, picking it up faster than you’d expected, though you’d had to help bandage his poor nicked up fingers more than once, mending each one with a kiss for good measure.  </p><p>Jaskier ambled along next to Swift in the darkening light of the afternoon, twirling one of the small daggers between his fingers as you swayed in the saddle, penning lyrics in a small notebook in your lap.</p><p>“I bet you I can hit the trunk of that tree from one hundred paces,” he said suddenly, his face lighting up as you turned to him.</p><p>“Oh yeah?  Now <em>that</em> I’d like to see,” you exclaimed, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p>Flashing a smirk and a wink Jaskier hefted the dagger in his hand, pinching the blade between his finger and thumb and threw it.  The dagger soared in a tight arc toward the tree in question, spinning blade over handle several times before glancing off the bark and falling harmlessly into the grass. </p><p>At this Jaskier let out an indignant gasp and threw his hands on his hips.  “Oh come on!  That’s bollocks!”</p><p>You had to press a hand to your mouth to keep from giggling, not wanting to bruise his ego further.  When he turned to you with a frown you quickly pulled your hand from your face, smoothing your expression.  “Try it again, but don’t forget to snap your wrist and don’t let go of the knife too early.”</p><p>Jaskier nodded, his lips moving silently, as if repeating the instructions back to himself.  Slipping another dagger from his sleeve he tried again, and this time the blade buried into the side of the tree with a loud ‘<em>tchunk</em>’.  Letting out an excited cry he turned to flash you a proud grin that had your heart skipping a beat.</p><p>“Would’ve been more impressive if I’d gotten it on the first try,” he grumbled however, and you swatted at him with your notebook.</p><p>“Don’t be like that,” you admonished, a grin twisting your attempt at sternness.  “I’m still very impressed.”</p><p>“You’re impressed by everything I do,” Jaskier pointed out, traipsing off toward the tree to retrieve the two daggers.  </p><p>“Is that a bad thing?” you asked with a laugh, watching him struggle to pull the second dagger free and rummage through the foliage nearby for the first one.  After a couple minutes of hunting he gave a triumphant ‘aha!’ and stood, dusting off his trousers before returning to your side and slipping the blades back into their hiding spots. </p><p>“Come to think of it, it’s not,” he said after a moment, glancing up at you.  “In fact, it’s quite nice being appreciated.”</p><p>Grinning softly you offered him a hand and he took it, stepping into Swift’s stirrup and swinging his leg over the back of the saddle to settle in behind you; brushing a peck to your cheek.</p><p>“So what d’ya say we find a tavern for the night and do what we do best?” </p><p>——</p><p>The loud hum of voices that filled the tavern’s common room quieted somewhat as you began to play, but several people still talked loudly, determined to carry on their conversation, despite your playing.  Jaskier shot a scathing glare at them as he sang louder, trying to drown them out with his own voice.  Eventually they got up from their table and your gaze followed them to the door, relief filling you as they left.</p><p>Your relief was short lived however, as your eyes fell on a man in a dark cape, brooding by himself in a booth near the back of the room, his cowl pulled up to cover his face.  Instantly a shiver raced through you and your face began to tingle, your lips going numb with fear.  A serving girl approached the hooded man and he turned to speak with her, handing her some coins before she turned away, and the song ended.</p><p>“[Y/N], are you alright?” Jaskier’s voice in your ear startled you and you tore your eyes from the man in the booth to look at him.</p><p>“What?” you asked, trying to gain your bearings.</p><p>“You missed a few notes in that song, is everything okay?”</p><p>Now that he’d gotten a closer look at you, concern filled his eyes and he frowned.  “You look pale [Y/N], what’s wrong?”  Suddenly he looked around the crowd.  “Did you see something?  Is-is <em>he</em> here?”</p><p>You knew exactly who Jaskier meant and you bit your lip, willing the anxiety that had plunged you into ice water to go away.</p><p>“I don’t know,” you whispered, searching the crowd.  “There was a man in a cloak, but I couldn’t see his face.  Now I can’t even find him.”</p><p>It was true, the cloaked man was now nowhere to be found and you didn’t know if his absence was a good or bad thing.  The crowd was becoming restless and you shook your head ruefully.  “Maybe I’m just being paranoid,” you hissed, frustration replacing your anxiety.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Jaskier assured you, putting on a strained grin for the crowd.  “I’ll keep my eyes peeled and if I see anything we’ll leave.  I’ve got you.”</p><p>Nodding you brought your fiddle back up to your chin and began playing the next song, settling the crowd.  As you played you scanned the room, double and triple checking the space, but the hooded man truly was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>——</p><p>As your set came to an end you were beginning to feel slightly better, though you couldn’t help but notice the serving girl from earlier mooning after Jaskier, flashing him alluring smiles anytime he looked her way.  You knew he was merely playing to the crowd when he would occasionally smile back and wink; a bard had to be likable, right?  It still twisted your stomach in jealous knots though.</p><p>It helped that once your instruments were stowed away in your room and you were away from prying eyes Jaskier pulled you close, kissing you thoroughly, one hand on your waist and the other cupping your face.</p><p>Sighing into the kiss you deepened it, your hands clutching at his open doublet; your fingers brushing the cool metal of the brooch you’d given him.  He’d kept it pinned to his outfit every day since the night at the palace.  The thought made you smile.</p><p>“Mmm you seem to be… feeling better,” Jaskier observed, pulling back to study your face.</p><p>“I am,” you replied, your fingers easing on the stiff silken fabric; your hands smoothing the wrinkles you’d made.</p><p>“Good,” he replied, “I was getting worried.”</p><p>Affection bloomed in your chest and you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face to his chest, unable to speak, just wanting to hold him and you felt Jaskier squeeze you back, resting his temple against your hair.</p><p>After several minutes he pulled back, pressing a kiss to your forehead and flashing a smile.  “Why don’t I go order us some drinks while you finish washing up, hmm?  Something to take some of the edge off?”</p><p>“Sounds perfect,” you purred, “I’ll meet you at the bar.”</p><p>——</p><p>Feeling much better after washing your face and changing into a fresh dress you walked down the steps and back into the tavern proper, your gaze searching for Jaskier.  The dim candle light flickering from the wall sconces made it difficult to make out anyone from far away and you ducked through the crowd, making your way to the bar.  You heard his voice before you saw him and as you turned the corner and he came into view you froze, your heart dropping into your stomach.</p><p>“<em>Jask</em>…?” your voice cracked, turning hoarse and withering away; confusion, anger, and hurt warring across your face.</p><p>Jaskier, disheveled and pressed back into one of the booths, the serving girl from before practically in his lap gave an alarmed cry at your sudden appearance, his eyes going wide, and the girl twisted to stare at you, her yes flashing as she directed a shit-eating grin your way.</p><p>“[Y/N] this is <em>not</em> what it looks like!” Jaskier exclaimed, and a hollow laugh burst from your lips.</p><p>“Oh it’s pretty obvious what it looks like,” you growled, anger fueling you now and you turned on your heel.  Feeling as if you were going to be sick, you needed to be anywhere but there.</p><p>“Nononono, [Y/N]!” Jaskier exclaimed, unceremoniously pushing the girl off him to chase after you.</p><p>Hot tears welled in your eyes as you marched away, stumbling into people in your haste.  As you reached the stairs Jaskier caught up to you, grasping your arm and pulling you to a stop.</p><p>“[Y/N] wait!  Please just let me explain.  It’s <em>really</em> not what you think, I <em>assure</em> you,” he exclaimed, desperation lacing his voice.</p><p>Rounding on him you jabbed a finger into his chest.  “I saw the way you were smiling at her earlier – God’s I’m such a <em>fool</em>,” you cried, desperate not to break down in front of him, in front of all those people, but his grasp on you was too tight and he wasn’t letting go.</p><p>“[Y/N] please, I love you.”</p><p>Jaskier’s words and the pain in his eyes snapped something in you and the sharp ‘<em>crack</em>’ of your hand across his face quieted the room, all eyes turning toward you.  “How dare you?” you hissed, your voice trembling dangerously.  “You used me to-to further your career and – bolster your image and I… I <em>believed</em> you when you told me I was special.  Gods, I knew this was too good to be true, I’m such an idiot.”</p><p>Jaskier watched you, shock painting his features as his mouth moved soundlessly, searching for the words to fix everything, to make you believe it was all just a misunderstanding.  With a sob you pulled your wrist free and ran up the stairs.</p><p>That seemed to snap him back to consciousness and he lurched forward to go after you, but a large firm hand on his shoulder held him in place.</p><p>“Where d’you think you’re goin’ bard?” the barrel chested barman demanded, hauling Jaskier back.  “First you lay hands on my server and now you’re bortherin’ the lady?  I dun think so pal.”</p><p>“Oh <em>come</em> <em>on</em>,” Jaskier growled, fighting in the man’s grasp.  “Let go of me!  [Y/N]!”</p><p>You could still hear Jaskier’s shouts as you hurried down the back stairwell, fiddle case and saddle bags slung over your shoulder.  Each plaintive cry cut through your heart and you knew if you went out the front and saw him again you’d probably lose your conviction and you refused to let yourself be played again.  So you slipped out the back way to the stable, rushing to saddle Swift when a low voice behind you stopped you in your tracks; the blood in your veins turning to ice.</p><p>“Hello [Y/N].  Or is it Aevryn?  Or Felka?  Or Lettie?  You’ve used so many names, I’ve lost track.”</p><p>Slowly you turned to face him, the man from your nightmares, your <em>husband</em>.</p><p>“So you found me René,” you said, surprised at how even your voice sounded.</p><p>The cloaked man stood blocking your exit as he lowered his hood.  “I admit, you’ve led me on a merry little chase these few years, but it’s time to come home now, where you belong.  With me.”</p><p>Taking a deep breath to steal your nerves you met his gaze.</p><p>“I’ll even forgive your little tryst with the bard.”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere with you.”</p><p>René smiled, the charming smile you remembered, but like usual it didn’t reach his dark eyes.  “I thought you might say that.  It’s a shame really.”</p><p>“What is?” you asked, your fingers trembling as you visualized your next move.</p><p>“That I’m gunna have to take you by force.”</p><p>You moved as soon as he did.</p><p>Your first blade missed as he lunged for you and you nearly tripped over an upturned bucket as you backed away.  The second knife that sprung to your hand however found its mark, burying itself to the hilt in René’s shoulder and as he got close enough to grasp at your skirt you already had a third knife in hand and you slashed at his face, forcing him back.</p><p>If you could just get around him and back into the tavern…</p><p>Suddenly the door crashed open, breaking your concentration and your eyes met Jaskier’s.  The split second of hesitation was all René needed and he scooped you over his shoulder to toss across the saddle of his waiting horse and rode off.</p><p>Still not giving up you thrashed, trying to break free and the last thing you heard before blacking out was Jaskier’s desperate voice calling your name into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p></p>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>“Hey there, can I get you something?”</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>“Ah yes please, I’d like two pints,” Jaskier replied, leaning against the bar, not really paying much attention to the serving girl across from him, his mind still on the woman upstairs.  The woman he was absolutely head-over-heels in love with and whom we still couldn’t seem to bring himself to tell.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>“Your playing was wonderful earlier,” the barmaid exclaimed, giggling as she leaned over the bar, deliberately showing off her… assets.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>“Oh, well, thank you, truly,” Jaskier replied haltingly, barely noticing the woman’s glorious set of tits, his mind still half on [Y/N] and the other half on how he should go about telling her how he felt about her.  “I’m gunna be in that booth over there, if you just wanna bring my drinks over,” he said absentmindedly, pushing away from the bar to take a seat near the back as he waited for [Y/N] to join him.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>As the serving girl came over with the drinks in hand everything happened so fast and Jaskier’s head spun as he was pushed back into the padded bench, the woman effectively trapping him with her body, her face nearly inches away from his.</em>
    </p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>
      <em>“Whoa!” He exclaimed, completely at a loss for words as he threw his hands up and shrank back from her as far as he could.  “I-I-I think there’s been a bit of a mix up in communication here,” he spluttered, torn between wanting to push her off and not wanting to make a scene.  “All I wanted was the drinks!”</em>
    </p>
  </div>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>“Aw c’mon,” she purred, her lips brushing the shell of his ear maddeningly, “I saw the hunger in your eyes earlier.”</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>“Hunger?” Jaskier yelped,swallowing thickly as she tugged at his doublet, practically crawling in his lap.  “I think you may be mistaken, I’m certainly not hungry, at-at least not for, oh for fuck’s sake -- will you stop that?” he snapped, grabbing her arms to hold her still.  “While I’m sure you are no doubt a very lovely young woman, I am not interested and I would thank you to please - get - off - me!”</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Of course it had been just his luck that [Y/N] had appeared right at that moment to find him in such an unfair and compromising position, none of which had been his fault.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The broken look in her eyes as she’d gaped at him had frozen his blood and haunted him still; the accusation and pain in her voice nearly ripping him in two, and as he pushed Swift to the limit, barrelling through the forest after her it rang in his ears.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Even if she never wanted to see him again after tonight Jaskier couldn’t just let her get taken like that and not follow after.  What he’d said to her in the tavern was true, quite possibly one of the truest things he’d ever said, even if the timing had been <em>abysmal</em> and his face still stung with her well deserved slap.  Julian Alfred Pankratz would rather die trying to rescue [Y/N] than give up and live to sing another day -- even if he had absolutely no idea how the fuck he was going to take on this René fellow, the likes of whom was nearly the same imposing size as Geralt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Pushing <em>that</em> worrying thought from his mind, Jaskier raced onward, hoping the path he was following was still the right one and he hadn’t lost her completely.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>——</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a pounding in your skull and it was getting worse.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Everything was muffled, as if you were hearing sounds from underwater, but with each pounding of your head it became clearer, sharper, more painful.  Stirring, your muscles screamed in protest and you realized you were hanging across the back of a horse, your head dangling and your arms bound behind your back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A wave of nausea overtook you as your memories began to clear and you retched over the side of the horse.  At this René noticed you were conscious and slowed the horse to a canter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re awake,” he said, moving your hair from your face to look at you.  “Are you going to cooperate now, or keep fighting?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You stayed silent for a long moment, weighing your options.  One, you could keep struggling, fight him all the way and possibly throw yourself from the back of the horse, but with your hands bound as they were there was no way you’d be able to land without serious injury and no way to get to your knives to defend yourself.  Two, you could play along, be good, possibly get him to lower his guard and then strike or slip away.  Maybe if you could get him to stop for a bit and untie you…</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It would take a lot of convincing but in the time you’ve been on your own you’ve learned a great deal and become pretty adept at acting a part.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Can we stop for a second?” you asked, not having to try very hard to sound like you were going to be sick again.  “I-I’ll cooperate,” you said, voice trembling -- also not hard to feign.  “I don’t feel so well, please?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Your plea seemed to work and René slowed the horse further to a walk, turning off the hard packed dirt road and into the forest.  Stopping at a small clearing just out of sight from the main road René climbed down and pulled you down as well, though he didn’t loosen his bruising grip on your upper arm.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>With his free hand he pulled a small waterskin from his horse’s saddle and unstoppered it, bringing it to your lips and helping you to drink.  “There, better?” he asked gruffly, taking a swig himself.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes,” you answered, your stomach twisting at how readily your subconscious wanted to fall back into your old cycle -- wanting to trust him when he deigned to be kind, no matter that he had just assaulted and kidnapped you against your will.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sit down there,” he grunted and you obeyed, carefully lowering yourself to the log he’d gestured to, watching, waiting for a moment you could use to your advantage.  Wincing, he crouched down and you noticed the cold circle of stones filled with ashes on the ground where a fire had once been.  While you wondered how René had known this was here he started a small fire before rummaging in his saddle bags.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As he sat down once more you saw he had bandages and salves in his hands and you suddenly remembered that one of your daggers had found its mark.  Shucking off his bloody shirt with another wince you studied the wound in his shoulder.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Good</em>, you thought, <em>that will slow him down some and potentially make escaping easier.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He noticed your eyes on him and scowled.  “I should punish you for that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Lifting your chin defiantly you merely stared at him coldly, despite the fear that twisted your insides.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’ve grown insolent,” he muttered, grunting as he cleaned the wound.  “What happened to your respect?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“<em>Respect</em>?” you scoffed, unable to stop yourself.  “What I had for you back then wasn’t <em>respect</em>, it was fear and I’m not afraid of you anymore.”  You hoped he couldn’t hear the lie in your voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>René stopped and slowly turned his face to you, the firelight glinting off his hard eyes.  “Maybe you <em>should</em> be.  You have a lot to answer for [Y/N]: running off in the middle of the night, stealing from me, spreading lies about me… and now adultery?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Biting the inside of your cheek you made yourself hold his gaze, but didn’t answer.  He snorted derisively, resuming his bandaging.  “Months spent on the road with that foppish bard, don’t tell me you didn’t sleep with him.  I’m not a fool.  Did he know you were a married woman or did he just not care?”  He paused for a moment, studying you, and you kept quiet, though your anger was swiftly coming to a boil inside you.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I could have easily killed him back at the tavern, for touching what’s <em>mine</em>.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not your property,” you spat, interrupting him, but René didn’t rise to the goad, instead continuing where he’d left off.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“If you truly cared for <em>Jaskier</em>,” he said his name with scorn, his lips twisting, “then you should be throwing yourself at my feet and thanking me for sparing his worthless life.  In fact, you carried out what I had set into motion more perfectly than I could have ever imagined.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“<em>What</em>?” you asked; the word a whisper.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Perhaps killing him would’ve been the kinder option, but let’s just say this one was worth it.”  René finished tying the bandages around his shoulder and spread his hands, smirking at the dumbfounded look on your face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Finally it sank in and you couldn’t believe you hadn’t put the pieces together earlier -- the cloaked man in the tavern slipping a coin to the barmaid but leaving before she even brought him a drink; the stiff way Jaskier had been shrinking away from the woman, not holding her, his face aghast; and the most important: Jaskier telling you it had been a misunderstanding.  And you’d refused to even <em>listen</em> to him.  It felt as though a block of ice had dropped into your stomach.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You paid that woman to seduce Jaskier,” you whispered.  “It didn’t work though, h-he resisted her,” you reminded yourself, grasping at the thought like a man drowning.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>René’s head popped out of the top of the fresh shirt he’d pulled over his head and he shook his shaggy dark curls out of his eyes.  “Yes, but darling <em>you</em> made certain he wouldn’t follow us.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You swallowed, bile rising to your throat at the memory of the sting of your palm across Jaskier’s face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Oh Gods, he was right.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I wouldn’t be so certain of that.”  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You heard Jaskier’s voice before you saw him and as he stepped dramatically out of the darkness into the ring of flickering firelight, nonchalantly twirling one of your daggers between his fingers your heart swelled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At his sudden appearance René jumped to his feet, reaching for the short sword at his hip and worry washed over you as he pulled it free from its scabbard, pointing it at Jaskier -- his tiny throwing knives no match for the longer blade.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“[Y/N] are you okay?  He didn’t hurt you did he?”  Jaskier called instead, glancing at you as if René wasn’t even there.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For the most part,” you answered, once more struggling in your bonds.  “A little more worried about <em>you</em> at the moment.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Wetting his lips Jaskier shifted his gaze, eyeing the sword pointed at him warily.  “Don’t worry love, I know what I’m doing,” he quipped, even managing a cocky wink despite the way his adam’s apple bobbed nervously.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I hate to question you, but <em>do</em> you?” you asked, your muscles beginning to burn once more as you continued to strain them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You should have stayed away bard,” René spat, beginning to slowly circle the fire, coming to stand in front of you, and Jaskier circled the opposite way, staying across from him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Did you really think I wouldn’t come for [Y/N]?” Jaskier asked and your heart leapt.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>This is not the time for romantics,</em> you reminded yourself firmly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Blinking, you nearly missed Jaskier’s first dagger flying toward René, a second one already in hand.  René dodged the first and the blade landed harmlessly somewhere near you.  Eyes wide, you searched the underbrush for the dagger’s telltale metallic glint, glancing back up to the two men in front of you.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jaskier had thrown the second knife, but you’d missed whether it had found its mark or not, and you wondered worriedly how many daggers he had left on him.  Gasping as René lunged forward without warning, sword flashing, you cried out, fear strangling you as the blade came away red.  Jaskier stumbled back, managing to keep upright, but in the firelight you could see his blue eyes flash -- a mixture of fear and rage.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Did you fuck my wife, bard?” René called, slashing  again as he advanced.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Tearing your eyes from the scene you frantically resumed your search for the missing dagger.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, a good many times!” Jaskier boasted, jumping back, narrowly avoiding the sword tip as it whistled past his chest.  “I hate to break it to you, but I think I’m a better lover than you in all aspects.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Growling like an enraged animal, René lunged again, but Jaskier was quicker and he spun away, slashing at skin as he ducked under the sword.  Staggering back René howled in pain, grasping at his side, his hand coming away wet with dark blood.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Suddenly your eyes caught sight of the tiny blade half hidden in the sparse grass and you threw yourself at it, gripping it awkwardly in your half numb hands.  Frantically you began to saw at the rope binding your wrists behind you; hissing through clenched teeth as you cut yourself in your haste, but you didn’t stop.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jaskier managed to cut René again, an incredulous laugh bursting from his lips.  “You know [Y/N]’s told me about you,” he said, hate lacing his usually gentle voice.  “It’s no wonder she ran, from a monster like you.  You deserve to die an incredibly humiliating and painful death for what you’ve done to her.”  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Snarling, René leapt at Jaskier and though the bard’s last dagger managed to disarm him, cutting into his wrist, both men tumbled to the ground, René pinning Jaskier and his fist making contact with his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“<em>Julian</em>!” you cried desperately, your heart wrenching.  Sawing faster at the ropes and nearly dropping the knife as you cut yourself again; tears streaming down your cheeks as you watched the man you once loved rain blow after blow upon the man that held your heart now.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Managing to lift his arms in an attempt to block his face, Jaskier reached for the wound you’d made in René’s shoulder and dug his fingers in.  René howled like a feral animal, pulling Jaskier up by his lapels til they were nearly face to face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“And do you think you’re going to be the one to give me that death?” he hissed, reaching for the sword.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The last of the rope fell away and you didn’t wait, pushing to your feet and scrambling toward the two men.  “No, <em>I</em> am,” you exclaimed, shoving the dagger in your hand into the side of René’s neck without hesitation.  The sword fell from his hand as a wet gurgle burst from his lips and his eyes rolled, going wide as he gaped at you, his hand clutching the hilt of the dagger sticking out of his neck.  His lips parted, eyes fixed on you, but before he could try to speak Jaskier grasped the discarded sword and sheathed it in René’s chest, pushing him backward and scrambling out from under him as he fell.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Your eyes met Jaskier’s, and for a moment neither of you spoke, the only sounds filling the clearing were the heavy pants of your breaths and the crackle of the fire.  Still in shock at what you’d done you looked from René’s lifeless body to your bloody hands, not quite able to move.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The next thing you knew Jaskier was embracing you tightly and you sobbed into his chest, the numbness of your shock receding.  At that moment you wanted nothing more than to tell him how sorry you were that he’d gotten tangled up in all this, that you should have listened to him, but most of all you wanted to tell him how much you loved him.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Before you could say any of those things however, you felt Jaskier’s knees buckle and give way beneath him, pulling you down as well as you tried to hold him up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jask!” you cried staggering under his weight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I-I’m fine [Y/N],” he slurred, trying to reassure you, but you could see that he was quite the opposite of fine.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’ve lost a lot of blood, we need to get you back to town o-or --” you felt tears welling in your eyes again, helplessness rolling over you.  <em>Would he even make it back to town?</em>  Pulling him up you looked around until you found where he’d left Swift, reins tied loosely to a tree branch, and that tiny bit of relief fueled you.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>——</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It had been nearly two days and Jaskier was still sleeping.  Shifting amongst the plush pillows in your chair next to the bed you rose and leaned over him, brushing a few stray strands of hair from his face.  Your fingers lingered, lightly tracing over the skin of his cheek as your gaze followed suit.  Nearly half his face was still covered with healing bruises, and several small cuts adorned his lips and brow from where René’s fists had made contact.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Fussing with the sheets that covered him, you checked his bandages once more, though you knew they wouldn’t need changed again until later that night.  Sighing, you leaned back and closed your eyes, saying a silent prayer to any of the Gods that would listen to watch over him.  After a moment you sat up and grabbed the book from the table next to you and flipped it open one handed, trying to focus on reading while you waited, your other hand gently stroking his hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A squeeze around your fingers made you pause and you tore your eyes from the page to look up at Jaskier’s face, your heart pounding painfully with hope.  Grinning softly up at your his blue eyes caught yours and he squeezed your hand harder.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“[Y/N], you’re here,” he murmured, attempting to push himself up; eyes widening as a grunt of pain crossed his lips and he instantly stopped, easing himself back while making a disgruntled face.  Instead he glanced around the room from where he lay, his brows furrowing slightly.  “Actually, where <em>is</em> here?” </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A nearby farm.  I was lucky enough to find a healer and she patched you up,” you said, laughing softly, glad that even in this state he was still very much himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How long have I been asleep?” he asked, clearly wanting to try sitting up again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Nearly two days.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Two <em>days</em>?” he yelped, disbelieving.  “I wasn’t injured <em>that</em> badly,” he scoffed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jaskier, you passed out in my arms right after I got you on to the horse, and then you nearly fell off several times as I tried riding back to the village,” you explained, shooting him a level stare.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes well…” he trailed off, looking somewhat sheepish.  Suddenly he seemed to remember something and his eyes fixed on you with determination.  “Did we…?  I mean, we won, right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Swallowing heavily you nodded, not quite trusting your voice to answer.  You could still picture the blood covering your hands.  René hadn’t been the first person you’d ever killed, but he had been the first that you’d known.  Taking a deep breath, you spoke.  “He won’t be coming after me any longer.”  Jaskier squeezed your hand reassuringly and your lip trembled, his gaze soft.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jask, there’s something I need to tell you,” you whispered.  You knew it was illogical, especially after he put himself in grave danger to come after you, but there was still that lingering fear that even after saying what you were about to say he would reject you.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I owe you an apology.”  Jaskier opened his mouth, but you steamrolled onward, afraid if you stopped you wouldn’t be able to start again.  “You tried to tell me what happened at the tavern, but I wouldn’t listen.  I’m such an <em>idiot</em>.  I slapped you in front of all those people,” your voice wavered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey hey, no, [Y/N],” he exclaimed, letting go of your hand in order to reach up and brush away the tears gathering in your eyes.  “I know exactly what it looked like --”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes, but I should have given you a chance to explain.  I should have trusted you,” you insisted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jaskier quieted, recognizing that you needed to say this, his hand lingering at your cheek.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ve never felt so safe or loved or <em>right</em> until I met you, and I kept up this wall, afraid to let you in, and then when I did, I was terrified I was going to lose it all, that you might turn out like him and so when I saw you like that, I just… I hid behind the wall again and ran.  I thought cutting my ties would be easier.”  Glancing up you found him watching you, a softness in his blue eyes that filled your heart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jaskier… Julian, I-I love you.  I love you so much you steal away all my reason.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>An ecstatic smile slowly spread across his face and he reached for you with his other hand.  Smiling back tearily you obliged, climbing up onto the bed with him and letting him fold you into his arms.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know,” he stated simply, smiling against your skin.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” you asked, turning your face to gape at him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I knew you didn’t mean it when you slapped me, that’s why I chased after you.  Well, I suppose part of me was afraid you did, mean it, but either way I wasn’t about to let that brute steal you away to do Gods knows what to.  Besides, I wanted to be the hero for once.”</p>
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  <p>A laugh burst from your lips.  “You certainly were the hero — <em>my</em> hero, more heroic even than Geral--” your exclamation was stifled abruptly as he pulled you in for a kiss; moving to pepper more kisses anywhere he could reach, murmured <em>I love you’</em>s between each before kissing your lips again deeply with a contented sigh.</p>
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  <p>A soft grunt from him reminded you to take it easy, he was still injured after all, and there would be more than enough time later for more <em>physical</em> apologies, so you contented yourself with settling in his arms and fitting your body next to his as he held you, running his fingers through your hair.</p>
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  <p>“I love you, Jaskier,” you murmured again, heart swelling as he echoed the words, squeezing you tighter.</p>
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  <p>“I love you, [Y/N].”  He shifted so he could see your face, the smile you loved so much gracing his handsome features.  <em>Gods even mottled with bruises he was still handsome.</em>  “We have to write a song about this.”</p>
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  <p>“Obviously,” you replied, brushing your nose against his affectionately.  “No one else would be better suited capturing our daring plight.”  </p>
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  <p>“Okay, good, because I already have some lyrics in mind.”</p>
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